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Trevor Cleff
IE
I couldn't believe it when I found your site. This has changed my life and I will follow you wherever you go. I thought I was in a cul-de-sac and now I'm on the roundabout - who care's if I ever get off- - I just want to be near you and get the froth of your success. Yes tomorrow's a new day for me in Geoff Walker's Closet.
Barry Tone
AC
Hello Godfrey, I heard about your big lottery win and want you to know that I've always enjoyed your supernatural efforts in playing the bango underwater. Yes "When I'm cleaning windows" takes on a new meaning. I would love to conduct your next big hit "Do you see the people swim?". I'll send you some of my 50th birthday cake with a picture of Lizzie Grune doing the breast stroke with a bent baton and a nightnurse inhaler. Remember - Can you feel the love tonight? Good luck at The Palladium - mention my name and your in the Royal Box. - Barry Tone
Miss Sammy Quaver
London GB
Geoff - How are you after your overdue knighthood for being a singing shepherd not a sheep? London West End has been monitoring your last 6 months with envy. On Friday I'll pick you up in my Bentley and then we're off to a party with Andy Lloyd Wobble and the Beckhams. The pole dancers will be there that you dated last week and also Kit Wynslett will be dedicating her new song to you "Raise the Titanic". Love your site - photo in the post.
Walter Wall
NZ
Gregg - I feel as if I've known you since you were knee high to an elephant. My window cleaner told me about you while I was having a bath with my next door neighbour Sheila. She couldn't wait to get her hands on my bazooka to scrawl your web site name up and down in the bubbles. I was still dripping when I savoured your poetry and prodded your photo album gasping for air as another wench came into view out of the champagne mist. We both laughed our socks off when we read your emails. Must go, having breakfast in bed with the cleaner this am. We'll raise our toast to you and give you a blast with the vac from the outback - Walter and Fanny and Minky the beaver.
Anne Kerchiev
upandunder.com
CH
Geoffrich - I hav readly enjoyd ur websit und ich wud lich to share ein magik momend mit ihnen. Mein liebe dich. Ich hat a facelift in Berlin fur zehn quid und ich lucken eggzactlich lichen you me alt mate. Ven mann hat bandages machen off I realichtichen tha ich look like dein twin schwester. Would you lichen mit mir ein bath so dat you can see my ginger follicles matchen your ducks arse venn die combe ist links und recht mit brut aftershaven. Kommen mit mir fur ein familia fruhstuck at IKEA. We cud set up haus zusammen und spiel sweet moussec in ein bunkerbed mit pillock chases. I kiss you in my audi mit gitto bloater and change your welt. Anne x
Rocky Bumbot
still being scratched out
Staithes GB
Hi Gefzilla You sure gits up oily in the morning. I likes yaz site and luck forwed to meeting thee at next evangelical english grammar nightclasses for garden stimpers with khaki grass skirts. How will I reconize thee without your goat. I will brung thee a new red crayon fur lipstick so thah can leev a messig on bog mirror in Hilton Hotel. "We luv you Cilla and your Careless Mars Bars." Remember to nock 3 times on the ceeling Nobface and all will be reveeld. Rocky
Dyke von Dooks
rockerfellas mother pinched my boobjob
Kuntas, Bungtofah, SC
Guffer You suprised me last night. My eyes and perfumed boobs popped out. I had just bitten my lip on the salty sambuca while nakedly bathing in my spunky hot tub. I drooled at your links and entrepreneurship frothy dribble. I'm not one for intimateley complimenting incontinent bar stewards, but, you really are a natural GAS. Yes we could light up the sky together with a flicker from my underwater rubber swan vestas. Blow me away baby and take me to the ocean in your parabolic spinning boob submarine where a Bolivian shave has never seen the light of day. You are the most orgasmic hovering toucher a woman has ever passioned. Keep me sprawling for more web gasps. Yours Dyke xx still pushing my mouse.
Penny Dropp
www.shagowt.eu
Berlin DE
I won't bore you with my accent. I'm trying very hard to pass a stone at the moment. You come to me in a dream in my penthouse overlooking the Alexanderplatz Square by the river. I imagine you sensually removing my brusthalter as I sip my Gewürztraminer sweet wine and pecking at my luxury DeLafée swiss chocolates I look down and see you climbing out of my crimson playtent dressed as Leotard the French trapeze artist. You pull me close to your busom and your grip talc puffs in front of me with no smell of epitan. We play backgammon and share the cherries and drip their juices on to the black squares by honeyed candlelight as the mist falls on my quivering soft nymphetic cul-de-sac. Meet me at the MONTE-CARLO BEACH HOTEL. I will be in an original Madeleine Vionnet cut-back blue dress with a wire wrapped African opal gemstone pendant straited with teal green flanked by green chrysoprase, Peruvian opal, ribbed green cultured freshwater pearls dyed, faceted aquamarine, and emerald gemstones with a 14 karat yellow gold tension clasp and catch. Just ask for Penny and the waiter wil show you to la chambre splendour. Just sing for me Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien-No, No Me Voy . My winking kimbo awaits with extra points for coming early. Love Penny xx SWALF.
Dennis De Menisse
www.fartinginpublic.com
Siddle Peddle, Bumkork, SE
Goragh, Hold on I’m coming as fast as I can type. You mesmerised me when I found your expressive web slot. I had just reloaded my golden water pistol and I was intimidatingly slashing the plaster ducks on the candelit wall of my transvestite cave by the secret seaweed health farm. Your touching bloggs absolutely blasted me out of my toy-town blue Noddy outfit and prepared me for the big titty fast-lane in my tweeds, waistcoat, grandfather super molybdenum copper arkwright precision stopwatch with the George the 111rd inscription. My new wife to be served molasses on melon wedges with shaky hands as she bent down looking for the moronic bastards guide to bee-keeping with firey jack on her quivering white thighs. She beckoned me with her porcelain fingers to complete the Sudoku competition and fill in the missing digits of nightshade blue before gasping out an Arcadian love message with panting delight. My black and white skunk dragged his privates along the squeeky clean linoleum floor twitch smelling for vitamins. I stopped his party going because he smelled like a pig in a portaloo after a vindaloo. Your invitation to the Hog Banging Night is still on. Bring the appfel sauce it’s good for incontinence.
More next week - Dennis
Heidi Hoch
www.yodelhaytitee.com
Giff, Giff, Giff,
I’m your Tyrollian princess lapping at your saddened dessert boots tied with fresh camel straw. I lick in time to the distant pacific seashore swirl with the smell of peaches and leopardian figs lassoing my pantaloons and bringing me to ground like a startled fawn.
“Lick-Lap-Lick-Lap remove my strap” - I whisper to you. The aromatic musk of your jodhpurs circles into my nymphatic nostrils and Gregorian cavaties.
Oh Giff, you musn’t leave me in poetic labour like this. One Olympic touch of your premature hand whisking and whipping your early morning scrambled eggs at breakfast time will light me up like Mozart’s underpants after a karaoke competition. I will climb your napoleonic princian body with lust lotion encumbering your privates with mouth-watering pimms passion and kiwi juice. My smooth shaved legs will comfort you like a pneumatic drill in a hail storm. I arrive round your neck like a steam train at full throttle gagging, spraying and menthol cooling your liberty and thoughts of intimate desire.
You must, You must, satisfy your whim, stimulated by a natural monochrome photograph of an old flame in a Norfolk haystack perspiring in the silver moonlight with the fast letch who kindled your bowelettas after a helping hand on her
Cortina puncture with a yellow crayon to mark the spot.
Please allow me to look up into your moronic and turbulent eyes. I give you my kindled spirit on a wedgwood plate smudged by the hand of an eager huntsman in suede. I have found you without the ancient map of your paternal grandfather. My perceptive fingers have tapped into your epherial fine art sculptured web explorer world. Take me and optimise me like Whittard’s Oolong Ceylon tea and stir me inside out but don’t forget I love my rich tea biscuits well dunked in tandem.
Love Heidi - don’t tell mum!
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